sleep-deprived ramblings

Well, the chant worked. In fact, it worked so well that it called out another baby the day before it was due. Congrats to both families, esp. the folks at 256. Check out their pics.

How to cope with sleep deprivation? Go out to eat and enjoy witty company and scintillating conversation. For example:

SASHA: "Write down my story, mom."

ME: "Okay." (hey, I never said that *I* was witty and scintillating.)

SASHA: "Once upon a time, there was three little cows walking in the woods. Daddy, draw the cows."

PAT: (dutifully turning over the paper placemat and taking up a crayon---we eat out in style, eh?) "Okay." (Pat is supposed to be scanning in this chef d'ouerve, but is currently vacuuming the living room, whilst I amuse myself, so you may have to wait a day or two. If you saw the living room, you'd understand. Now back to the story.)

ME: "Once upon a time, there *were* three little cows walking in the woods." ( Yes, I know that I'm stunting my child's creativity, and most of the time, as you will see, I can let go of my grammar cop tendencies. But not when it comes to the subjunctive tense. If I had to learn it in French and Spanish, then I'm going to make damn sure that it's preserved in colloquial English to return the favor to all those Europeans.)

SASHA: The big, bad, wolf came. The big, bad, wolf huffed and puffed and blowed (sic, of course) the three little cows away."

ME: (frantically scribbling, mumbling what I'm hearing under my breath) "Wait! Wait! Okay, so far I have..." (reading what I've written)

SASHA: "Out on space."

ME: "What?"

SASHA: "The wolf blowed the cows away out on space."

ME: " Do you mean *in* space?" (okay, okay, maybe I am more anally retentive when it comes to grammar than I think. This is due, in no small amount to the influence of Brian Zimmerman, who accepts enough blame to let me mention him by name.)

SASHA: "No. I mean *on* space." (Drat these independent thinkers! Of course, once I caved and read it as dictated, he promptly changed his mind and saw it my way. Ah so, grasshopper, the wily parent wins by surrendering...once in awhile, when one encourages independent thinking...keep chanting the mantra. Back to Sasha.)
"The wolf blowed the cows away out in space. They put on their space suits."

GIANNA: (in the pain-in-the-butt manner that only an older sister can muster) "Next you should have the cows put on their space helmets because *no one* can breathe in space."

SASHA: (matter of factly) "I can." (in the infuriatingly confident manner that only a little brother can muster)

ME: (hurriedly, to prevent an argument) "What's next?"

SASHA: "Then the earth crashed into them."

PAT: (as only a physics geek could) "You know. That's a good way to put it, considering it is the earth's fault for their fall."

SASHA: "And a giant neopet ate the big, bad wolf. THE END." (thus proving the theorem that karma's gonna get you, no matter what.

No songs today. My subconscious is either happy with all the fame it's reaped already, or it's just asleep.

New category: WHAT I"M READING Eats, Shoots and Leaves by Lynne Truss. Well, actually it's sitting by my bed, unopened, as you can tell by the frequent use of dashes and dots when a semi-colon would probably be more appropriate.

Finally, in the interest of fair and balanced parenting, Gianna's dinner story.

Once upon a time, there were three snakes climbing a big tree. And then they saw Mama Snake. They asked where Daddy Snake was. And Mama Snake said, "He's going for food. And when he comes back, he'll bring a big fish." THE END

Note to self: think we've been eating out too much lately.

Pat drew this at Sasha's request.