AmazonMidwife

My whirlwind week continued. CHOICE was one of the sponsors who brought Jennifer Block to town, to talk about her book, Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care. (Here's a link to her blog.)

She was mainly preaching to the choir. But I was able to take away this idea: "We have to start saying to our friends that we think their decisions about their births are a bad idea." I have always refrained from that, because I know that women need to give birth where they feel safest. But the current state of obstetrics, as it is practiced in this country, is, in many ways, unsafe. Yet I see and hear of so many competent women, who question authority adroitly, who research and educate themselves tirelessly when making choices, just putting themselves blindly in the hands of their OB. The only thing I've found so far that may partially explain it is this link, which the 'Savant sent me last week. It could be; I've always thought that oxytocin had a pheremonic quality.

Not being able to squirt hormones up the noses of my friends, I have found that it is folly to tell someone else that one thinks they are making a bad choice. Throwing down that gauntlet rarely gets someone to change their mind; instead it usually causes a defensive reaction that intensifies their commitment to the decision in question. But telling a friend "I am worried about your chances of having the birth you want in the hospital." can be a good way to open a discussion and do some educating.

After the talk, a few of the other sponsors and I went to dinner with Jennifer. We talked about a lot of things, but one topic that she brought up interested me most: what's going on with the increase of sexual activity of middle school girls? My take on the issue: that it had a lot to do with the school culture (and pop culture in general) and lack of teacher/parental supervision. This perspective was not shared by another women whose job it is to do sex ed in our city's schools so maybe I am being naive or old-fashioned. However, I can't help thinking that dressing girls up like "baby ho's" (credit to Lisa) as soon as they're out of diapers, having them home unsupervised after school (and supervised in a ratio of 25-1 at school) and letting their icons be other oversexualized teens just MIGHT play a big part. But that's a whole 'nother post.

The next morning we met up again for breakfast, at a great place just a bit south of our house. This time there were just three sponsors (including me) but two of us brought our kids. (I even brought the 'Savant, fresh from a dental appointment. He agreed to come mainly because he likes the restaurant, but he was on his best behavior, being careful not to drool with his numbed mouth.) This time we talked mainly about the state of birth and legislative efforts here as well as the rest of Jennifer's Ohio tour. The kids behaved well, but were less than impressed with their brush with celebrity. However I did get someone to take a picture so they can brag later on.

(And I think they'll have lots to brag about; Ms. Block has a sharp, insightful mind to go with her writing style (IMLTHO) which she will, I predict, turn to many subjects. I eagerly await her next book.