mi mi mi

Okay, we're all going to do a number from the musical *Oklahoma*. Is everyone ready? All together now:

"Poor Lulu's dead. Poor Lulu's dead. Poor Lulu's dead."

Very good. We need to stay together a little better on the second phra---what do you mean 'that's not how the song goes?'

Well, that's how it goes chez nous today. Yes, Lulu the Hamster has ran her last wheel, cruelly cut down in the prime of life by Marty the cat. Said beast proudly brought his catch to show me while I was doing laundry last night. He wasn't sure what to do with it at first, but as I bellowed for the savant, *(hey, it's in [the contract)*](http://amazonmidwife.linuxcolumbus.com/node/179) the feline started licking at the remains...just in time for the kids to come running; guess my shrieks must have bordered on the hysterical, or at least very alarmed.

I'm sure you can figure out most of how the scene went from here. Lamentations, condemnations and condolences, the usual. However, I did have to retreat upstairs to hide my unseemly laughter when the boy said, between sobs, "I want to make Lulu a god...dess." (It took a minute for him to remember the feminine.) *Last week in history, we talked about the process by which the Romans made their emperors divine. The boy did not appear to even be listening at the time. Shows what I know.*

Anyhow, to cover my retreat, I said that I would retrieve Lulu's Christmas stocking so she could be buried in it. *(Nothing like bringing down the mood of Christmas decorations to find a reminder of a dead pet...I speak from experience here, folks.)* While I was sorting through ALL :) those boxes, the savant fashioned a coffin from a couple of egg carton lids left over from a craft the kids did last week. It became obvious that he and I have been married long enough to share a brain when he announced that maybe we should give Lulu to the fire for a funeral. We could do it when we go out to one of our homeschooling friends' house Friday for a bonfire to celebrate [Imbolc](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imbolc). ( While stocking hunting, I had been wondering how he would deal with the remains since the ground has finally frozen a bit.)

So I have gently suggested to the savant that he ask permission from the bonfire hosts BEFORE we have the hamster Viking funeral/Roman deification. Not sure that we can combine the idea of Imbolc with a funeral unless we work in the 'healing' aspects of the day. And of course we don't want to spoil everyone else's good time with a downer pet funeral. However, the thought in the back of my mind is that all the kids will have a gory fascination in seeing the cremation.

And even though it wasn't in the aforementioned contract, I made a few more gentle suggestions. I thought it would be a good idea for the savant to HELP the girl clean up the remains of the hamster cage, EVEN though she was at fault for leaving her bedroom door open, and that he might work on making some sympathetic noises and do some cuddling with both kids. I also was wise enough to refrain from sharing the boy's deification idea with the savant until AFTER the kids had finished crying.

Today, the kids seem to be bouncing back pretty well. Meanwhile, Lulu's remains are in the garage awaiting whatever form her funeral will take. And I'm going about my daily business with "Poor Jud" going round and round in my beleaguered brain. Another day in the life... :P